React or Reign it in?

There’s no way around it; the news was ugly this week. Most people have strong feelings about what’s going on in the U.S. and around the world. As Jesus-followers, we too are allowed to have strong feelings. But we are to be careful what we do with them. In Ephesians 4:17-32, Paul tells the church to act differently from the world. “Put off your old self…be made new in the attitude of your minds…In your anger do not sin…Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…”

In line with Paul’s instructions, I thought I’d share some wisdom I learned from Lysa Terkeurst’s book Unglued, about handling your emotions. She lists five questions to consider when dealing with something that upsets us.

1. Do I want to escalate this conflict or dissipate it?
2. Do I want more trouble or more grace in my life?
3. Do I want to be known as harsh or gentle?
4. Do I want to get in my own way or help find a resolution?
5. Which do I care more about – demanding my rights or displaying right choices?

As I read these questions, the answers are obvious. I don’t like to escalate conflict. I certainly need and want more grace than trouble. I would prefer people think of me as gentle and not harsh. I care more about making right choices than demanding “my rights”.

And yet, every once in a while, I come close to losing my cool. Something that seems unfair infuriates me. I want to give someone a piece of my mind and let them know I’m smarter or better than they are. But I have found that every time I do, I’m later embarrassed and ashamed of being so ugly.

When I am agitated, if I ask myself any or all of the above questions, it usually slows my mind and mouth down enough to consider things. It causes me to recognize that I’m about to do something that I will likely regret, and my reaction changes. I pray that I do this as often as is necessary so that I am gentle, kind and more like Jesus. I don’t want to do this so I look good. I want to do this because it points people toward Him.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1

Grace and Peace,

Pastor Cindy

Top Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash